Cricket Quotes

Quote of the Week 6

This series of events came during the Saturday 28^th June 2003 clash with Old Victorians at FB1.

Dave Clark once 1^st XI wicket keeper now swooping cover specialist and deputising as captain in the absence of Richard Gomersall, Captain and Craig Douglas, Vice Captain, was heard to say “ I’ve never heard anything like it. Not while we are fielding.”

It was said at the end of the over as he was walking away from ‘New Boy’ always looking to make an impression, Danny Moffat, the new 1^st XI wicket keeper. Moffat was heard to say, in a Jethro like accent which becomes a man from Plymouth

“When you’ve gotta go, you’ve gotta go!” This was heard after 17 overs of the game and Moffat although looking slightly uncomfortable stayed behind the stumps.

It was during the 23^rd over and delivery stride of the Island’s Premier Fast Bowler, Paul Horton, when the floodgates opened quite literally for Moffat. From an outsiders view the ball from Horton beat the bat swung back into the right-hander and Moffat, standing back, should have taken the regulation delivery. However, he just threw out a foot and quickly brought it back again. The ball travelled to the ropes with the 1^st XI fielders wondering why Moffat did not bend down and catch it.

18 pints of Guinness from the night before had been processed by Moffat who let out the following phrase

“I’ve Shit myself”

Which he then repeated when questioned “What”.

Although in a little discomfort and not knowing whether to leave the field padded or unpadded, the Old Victorians were unawares of the proceedings as Moffat looked at his hand all the way to the pavilion as though he had picked up an injury.

A true pro and something special on your second outing for the 1^st XI!

Quote of the Week 5

This follows the announcement that St Ouen’s CC have decided on the date, time and location of the end-of-season / start-of-season dinner. The announcement contained the following comment ‘The invitation is open to partners as well’

Martin Amy, opening batsmen – wicket keeper and from his title on his email holds a very important position in the community, responded with the following email.

The 'partners' issue still baffles me.

Does this mean any type of partner i.e. golfing? love-making? Work?

Some clarity on this would be much appreciated, as I think I am not the only one who has problems with this interpretation

Martin Amy
Planning Consultant (telephone number and email address removed just in case somebody decided to take him in hand)

This response from Martin caused the following emails from 2 respected members of the Club

Might have known you had consultant in your title given the vagueness of your answer

Andrew Brown ACA
Financial Accountant

and

Martin just bring your sausage boy and be done with it, we all know.

Robin Tewkesbury

(Fellow opening Batsman)

Quote of the Week 4

Our Hon Secretary issued an email regarding the final net session prior to the first weekend of cricket. Some excesses are priceless and some are unbelievable. What do you think?

Horty,
I know you'll be gutted but I cant make weds, because I have a date................with a girl!

Martin Amy
Planning Consultant

Hat-Trick hero of the very same weekend responded after this reply-all email had been sent.

Hi Martin

Is it such an achievement to pull a bird that you had to do a reply all instead of just reply. I'm sure the majority of us don't want to know the sordid little details of your private life.

Congratulations

Karl

I hasten to add Martin was there at nets on the Wednesday but may have had the thoughts of the girl on his mind come Saturday, 2 and out.

Quote of the Week 3

Another from the Tewkesbury top drawer.

Rob was sat in front of the Pavilion watching Mike Coward bat at FB Fields on Saturday 2^nd June. Mike was in the 40’s was about to face a spinner.

Rob said ‘This is going for 6.’ With the car park beckoning.

The bowler bowled Mike Coward, offered a defensive shot, yes he does play them but only very occasionally and it bowled him neck and crop.

Rob held his head in his hands until Mike returned. When after apologising to the skipper Mike said ‘I should have gone with my first thought and hit him for 6’.

Rob was inconsolable.

Quote of the Week 2

A recent email received at swans@stouenscc.co.uk

Maybe a quote of the week. St Ouens vs Mens Club

Ward Jenner walks to the wicket.

Rob Tewkesbury says. "He's a good player always expects to get runs"

I replied. "Most good players do Robin"

Regards. T Kearsey now of Optimists

Quote of the Week: During the game against the Guernsey Pessimists

1^st Eleven-specialist slip fielder Rob Tewkesbury was heard to say whilst Pat Dean was bowling on Saturday 19^th May 2001:

‘We’re not going to get any catches in the slips

with Pat bowling around the wicket !’

This was heard by fellow slip fielder and Vice Captain Karl Moyse who was then moved to backward square leg. The next delivery from Pat took the edge of the lefthanders bat flew to Rob’s left. After diving and putting it down Rob left the field with blood pouring from his finger. Needless to say he was fined heavily for this slip.

Thanks Karl.